Life in a box : Funda Ek : Planning & Prioritization

Disclaimer : All characters in "Life in a box" are fictional. But any resemblance to actual places, incidents, situations, persons may be intentional :-).

"I hate my work", Vini said while throwing her purse at the sofa. "Such a bad day, i didn't get a chance to take a break for even 5 minutes today. I am telling you, they are killing us."

I smiled. Its fun to imagine the role reversal that has happened in our life. My new box is cool and Vini's really hectic. I come back everyday at five, make tea for both of us and relax in front of TV watching "Everybody loves Raymond" while she struggles to come back by seven and prepare dinner for us. Atleast that is the story since i left my old box... where we never stopped working for them.

"You know what happened today", She started her day's story by sipping the tea. This is the daily routine now and i love it. Three months of life apart was really horrible. Nobody to talk once at home and she wants to give me up to date news, everyday as soon as it happens.

"I am being swamped at work. My plate is always full. There is always so much to do and worst there is no shortage of new work. I hate it, how you used to manage da, I am sick of it. I think i will quit."

I smiled. I can sense a session of fundas by Aneeshji coming up. The very ones which have helped me live my life peacefully, at least to an extend, in my old box. But let me better be sure that she needs it before i start lecturing it on her. She after all is not just another men-tee, she is my wife. The difference i have learned the hard way. None of the other men-tee's shout back when i go overboard with my fundas.

"Today i was in three production issues. And i am given more work. If i go to my manager saying i am loaded, he will say plan and prioritize. All the work doesn't have to be done now itself. Arrey, after all i have to do all the work right? I am tired, you tell me how should i handle that. How should i say NO to work? I don't want to work like this. Will i get a job in your company, I also want to relax like you do."

Well, is she meaning i have no work? Grrrrrrrrrrr... In my words i have "less" work. How less, well, i don't need to tell you folks. We are not discussing about me remember. She is in for a session today, i don't think, i can avoid it today. Vini, this is your lucky (or unlucky!!!) day. I am gonna open the doors to one of the most important lessons to survive in the box, especially when there is no shortage of work. Funda Number Ek (one) : Planning & Prioritizing.

"Vini, relax di, the situation is nothing bad, what he told is right. You just need to plan and prioritize properly. You should be able to get control of the situation which you are in."

"Oh, you also criticize me. Its all my fault right. Not that people giving us work are wrong, its all our fault." I told you right, wife is different from a regular men-tee, i am yet to fully learn that. I get carried away all the time. But sorry dear, you are gonna get the full session, i have already started. May be a lighter language might help, my brain told me.

"No i am not saying that dear, look at me. When you go to your manager, forget him, suppose i am the lead, if you come to me saying you are loaded with work, you can't take up something i have assigned you, i will ask you one question. -- WHY? "

"I know, he does the same. I just can't take it up ok. Why i should be killed with work or what? Don't smile as if i don't know anything."

"Don't get emotional da, there is no need or use for that in our profession. If you know the question WHY will be asked, don't get upset. Just have the answer to it with you. Have the data to back up WHY you can't do. Very important to bring data to the table while discussing anything. Without data, its just argument. You provide the same arguments with DATA to back it, you can see how much more of an impact it has."

"But how can i show that i can't take this work. All the other work are in different phases. I can never prove i can or cannot do this work. It is not so simple as you say."

"Well, before we close ourself saying we cannot take this work, lets analyse for a moment what are the work you have and whether you can take this work or not."

"Anhaaaaaaaa, now u r going to convince me to do it, rather than supporting me."

Did i mention about the wife factor yet??? "Not like that dear, hear me first. Have you heard about Stephen R. Covey and his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People."

"Nope". "In that book he describes a habit called Put First Things First. In that he describes a framework in concentrating on the long term important goals instead of doing things which appear to be urgent but are really less important. He explains it using a 2x2 matrix - using a cartesian co-ordinate system with urgent non-urgent in one axis and important non-important in another. Learn this dear, this is your holy bible for Time Management."
"QI - we don't have a choice. It has to be done. QII is the part i love. Here the tasks are not urgent yet, but they are slowing on the path to move to QI. Finishing them before reaching QI is the challenge and the trick. The success of our planning depends on it. QIII - not important not urgent. We shouldn't be doing this one unless 2 conditions - No other work :-) or you feel it is gonna be QIV pretty soon. QIV - the more no of tasks there ,the higher the level of failure in your planning. Never let a task migrate from QIII to QIV. Never be forced to do less important stuff just because it is urgent, when ideally you should spend that time focussing on long term important tasks in QII."

"This stuff looks interesting, but you didn't tell me how it will help in reducing my work. I need a magic for that. DATA as you say to back my decision to say NO."

"Patience my dear Vinikutty, Every day morning, you fill this matrix with your tasks. Ideally it should have more in QII and QIII and less in QI and QIV. Attack the tasks so that you will reach a position where your goals are long term. When every new work comes, religiously put it in this matrix. When you new task comes, you will be in a position to say, what impact it will have when you accept it. Whether it will cause some tasks to move from QII to QI or QIII to QIV or whether it will affect any QI or QIV tasks which would be deadly. That my lady love is the DATA you are looking for."

Finally i could see a small reflection of smile in her face. I could sense that she has suppressed her wife feelings to throw it at my face because she can and has accepted it as a good learning to implement it in her work.

I think this is the right time to say it, i have been waiting to say this from the time she came, let me say it before it is too late. "Honey, i am hungry :-) Can you make dinner now." Yeah fundas are over and husband aneesh is back. I watch her with a smile as she rolls her eyes in "oh my god, this guy!!!!!" expression and walks to the kitchen. I switched on the TV and Sanjaya Malakar was singing his guts out. Back to the normal life, outside the box........!!!!!!!!!

A Journey to the Smokies : On our Second Anniversary

April 10... Second anniversary is coming, need to plan something special for Vini. This thought was in my mind for some days. "The idea for a perfect gift : Give something which he/she wants to do for a long time, but wont do it them self". I don't know remember from where i heard this, but it sure is a great way to arrive at a good gift.

A romantic get away :-) Yep i liked that one best from my list. She always wanted to get away for a weekend, to stay in a resort and be pampered. So this anniversary is gonna be that weekend. Just needed to decide the place and resort. Eight Gables Inn, Gatlinburg in Smoky Mountains was the place to be.. where we are gonna celebrate our second anniversary.

We were really surprised to realise that this was the first trip in US where it is going to be just the two of us. Let me make it more interesting, I gave her one more gift. I promised her i will be less of a control freak, less of a hyper active person for the whole weekend. No maps with spots which we need to visit, no yelling at her to get ready at the exact time, no intention of doing every single thing i have planned for the trip - when nothing is planned :-) that risk is avoided.

So with just the map of the way to Eight Gables Inn, we started at around 11am Friday, April 6. It was a beautiful drive. Driving through Carolina and Tennessee. On the drive through I-40 W the spring was too beautiful and tempting. "Lets stop and take some photos". "What" the control freak inside me yelled. We never stop till we reach our destination, thats me :-). But not today. We stopped at 3-4 times on our way, we were taking photos in front of someone's home, back yard, being barked at by their dogs. It was real fun. It sure made Vini happy. "I can't even believe this is my husband".

In between Google maps confused us. We roamed around 30 min trying to find the way to Gatlinburg as soon as we entered Tennessee. After finding out the right way by calling the resort, we thought we will have lunch. We had decided we are going to have lunch from some American restaurant only, no fast food or desi hotel. And we got one too. "The Bean Trees", on Tennessee border in I-40W was just the place. It was started by 4 women and now 2 of the founding ladies continued to run it. The sign board inside the restaurant said "Bad Food, Slow Service, Great Place". I don't agree to the first, but the next 2 statements were right :-). We played Dominoes and had great food. It was really refreshing.

Eight Gables Inn, Bread & Breakfast was all that we were hoping for and more. Amazing room with fireplace, feathertop beds and a bathroom equipped with whirlpool tubs. Our suite was called "The Morning Glory". After checking in, we went to Gatlinburg downtown and shopped for sometime. While walking through the town, we couldn't skip the "Old Times Photo" stores. We checked it out and this was an experience which was hard to resist. We had a blast shooting those photos. Vini just loved holding those guns and of course the fact that she was aiming at me. Even the photographer commented "Look at how happy she is to shoot at you!!". "Its just two years, i can't imagine what she will do after some more". This sure was the highlight of our trip.

We retired to our room at night where our desserts where waiting. After slipping on our robes we spent some time relaxing in the whirlpool tub. This sure was turning out to be worth the money we spent.

We went to see the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in spring, to see all the trees blossoming. But it had other plans. It snowed so heavily on Friday night and Saturday, we could hardly get to Dining room for Saturday, April 8, morning breakfast. We were greeted with a hot cup of coffee/tea and then by a hearty breakfast. It sure cleared Vini's impression that Americans eat only cornflakes for breakfast.

After that it was massage time. It was our first experience but surely will not be the last. It was really relaxing and an amazing experience. Eric and Marcel, of course lady for me and guy for Vini, had magic in their hands. The board in which we could write comments were filled with one like "Eric, will you marry me","You guys are awesome" :-).

Saturday night, we had our candle light romantic dinner. We don't know whether we had a "romantic" dinner or not. We were our usual self :-) chatting away of all the stupid things like we do when we are alone. We hope were not a disturbance for the other couple, on their honeymoon, having a "romantic" dinner :-). After the four course dinner, we ordered our champagne to the room. Yeah!!! I know the people who know us are raising their eye brows. Champagne and us :-). Well it was in the package, and we sure didn't want to miss it. I opened it and spraying it all over. I always wanted to do that!!! We tasted it and as i expected hated it :-). Sorry champagne lovers, i don't think we are not fit for the champagne rather than otherwise.

Sunday morning, we went to Clingman's dome in Smoky Mountain National Park. It was an amazing drive, with mountains fully covered with snow. We stopped in between for a trail down to the river, for playing in the snow and ice. Once we reached the Clingman's dome after a tiring 2 mile hike in the cold, we called it a day for our trip :-). It was time for start our journey back.

On our way back, relaxed me was making all the mistakes i usually don't. Not driving carefully, forgetting wallet in the car while going out, forgetting to take the credit card after paying. "What is happening to You?" "Well, you wanted me relaxed, non hyper. This is that Aneesh". "Enough of that gift, please come back to your normal behavior". Yeah, at that moment we realised vacation is over :-) and its time to get back to our normal life.

Before we checked out of the Inn, we were writing our memories into the guest book in our room. I browsed through it and a couple of entries were hard to forget. One was written by a couple who had just lost their young son. "It is the first time we are alone after our great loss. This place has given us an atmosphere where we can grieve our son without any disturbance. Thanks for all the help in getting us back to normal." Another one was "We are celebrating our 55th wedding anniversary. Thanks for making it really special."......
55 years :-) well 2 over, 53 to go.... we can sure give it a try...

Some more fotos....

Life in a box: A normal day....

Disclaimer : All characters in "Life in a box" are fictional. But any resemblance to actual places, incidents, situations, persons may be intentional :-).

"I am going to quit the company today. This is pure torture, mentally and physically. I can’t take this anymore. I am going to quit today itself".

I smiled to myself. It was my friend Tedy cribbing in the next cubicle. This is a bad day for him at work. His manager was keeping him on his toes for on an impossible delivery. What’s new, I thought to myself, we do have the motto - "We never stop working for you".

This was the beginning of a normal day in my life in the box - my own cubicle.

.................................

I turned to my monitor - 150 new mails in the inbox. Why are people sending so many mails? Why am in all the junk mailing lists? I sorted the mails and deleted about 125 of those mails without even reading. These are no way related to me or my assignments. Still I get them, everyday, every hour. Why can’t people just the send the mails to the concerned persons alone.
"I am going mad", Tedy is yelling.
Junk mails or not, my day is much better, at least the start, I smiled again. Let me get back to work.

I have got a design meeting from 10.30 to 2 for a new initiative. Well not new, it’s been going on for 4 months. We are still in the high level architecture design stage. It should be over by another 15 days. Then all the teams have 1 month to complete the initiative. The decision is from Executive Director, so all directors and managers agreed. People like me or Tedy will slog forever to deliver this. Man I hate this. Why is this happening? May be I should also quit.
"My servers are crashing; if others can give me 2 hours without interruption i can solve it. But No, they are escalating to my director. What help will it do if Director comes and yell at me. Will he solve the problem? I still need some 2 hours to find and fix the issue. I hate this..!! I am quitting for sure".
I smiled again, yes surely a much better day for me.

I looked back at my inbox. Well there is a mail from Jim. He used to work with us in the same project. He quit 2 weeks ago.
"Hi Aneesh,
Life is going good here in NY. Joined the new project, work is cool. Come at 8, go at 5. No tension, no pressure and certainly no mental torture like we had in Dallas. And pay is much better. Really man, you should try other options. Don’t stay in that stupid environment.
Regards,
Jim."
Tempting!! Really tempting!! I have been working here for 4 years now. Can I survive in any other environment where people do normal working hours with normal deadlines, normal budgets. I am in doubt. May be I should show Tedy this email.
"I am looking into it Raghu. I will fix this immediately."
I heard Tedy talking in the phone to the director. No. Bad idea to show him this mail now. May be later.

.................................

"How was the meeting? Why are you looking so frustrated?"
Vini asked while serving the lunch. I stay 5 minutes drive away from my box. That’s the only relief of my job.
"Horrible, they are still thinking about which systems should be impacted. Its just 1 month away from deadline and these morons are still discussing. My team will be killed in delivering this. I hate this."
Vini smiled. She is the one person who hears all the after effects of the day in the box.
"Relax, Aneesh... don’t let these things affect you this much. Let’s have lunch and discuss something else".
"Yeah, that’s good idea. Anyway my day is much better. Tedy is getting killed in office. "

.................................

"Let’s go for a coffee man. I need my caffeine to stay awake.".
Anoop was standing behind with the coffee mug. Team coffee was the only enjoyment we had here in the box. Anoop, Bini, Zameel and me walked to the coffee machine.
"Tedy, are you joining us?"
"Go ahead man, I can’t move from this chair till this issue is resolved. And Anoop please let everyone know that I am quitting from tomorrow ok? I cannot take this anymore"
"Take it easy man; here let me get a coffee for you".
"What’s up with that guy? He is yelling at phone whole day today!!" Bini excalimed.
"Poor guy, some critical issue on the delivery he made yesterday. It was an impossible deadline to begin with, but you know Tedy, he did it. But some issues and people are killing him for that."
"Anyway how was the Florida trip, Zameel?"
"It was cool man, Florida beaches are so beautiful. I will upload the photos soon. You should go there sometime"
"Yeah, i have to..."
As soon as I get out of this crazy place, I thought to myself while we were walking back.

.................................

"Yahooooooooooooooooooooo........"
Tedy was dancing in excitement. Did we come to the wrong cube? This was not the Tedy we saw when we went for coffee.
"I solved it... It was such a simple issue. Two lines of code change. Everything is fixed now. I got the appreciation from my director for this man. This is great. I love my job here. Best company to work for... Do we get such challenges else where? I live for these kinds of moments in life."
We all smiled, Tedy was back - where he belongs - the place where people like us "Never stop working".

.................................

"How was your day, Aneesh" Vini asked...
I smiled and said "A Normal Day Vini... Just another normal day".

I just called to say.....

9..4..4..7..2..3..1..3..0..0..
This was the 11th time that i dialled the number in my Nokia 6610 phone. I didnt allow it to ring even once. Every time i hung up before the first ring. I sat there looking at my phone, i wanted to make that phone call desperately. It was my best friend's number. My class mate for four years. The only friend i had, who stood with me through my bad times. My soul mate, the one person i loved more than anything in this world - Meenu. It is her marriage tomorrow.

........................

It was seven years ago when Meenu came into my life. It was the first day of our engineering college life. I had lived with my parents during my school days and this was my first experience living away from home. They dropped me at the hostel for the first years yesterday and went back to my native. My roommates were Jose and Deepak. Both were from the same town and friends during their school days. I felt like an outsider in the room. I was dejected to say the least. If this was the preview of what is coming in the next four years, i wanted to go back home that moment itself. I called home and cribbed to my mother for 30 minutes. She comforted me saying this will be alright in a few days.

I am going back home today after the class, i thought for myself. I sat there in the last bench along with Sony and Bineesh. Niyaz sir started with Electronic basics. Not on the first day, please... i cried mentally. I looked around and found the same expression in another face, she was Meenu. She had the most beautiful face i have ever seen. She was looking around in the class looking very bored. She looked straight at me and smiled. "Boring", she moved her lips without sounding. I smiled at her. That was the start of our friendship.

I never knew you could get to know a person so much. So close to another person's heart that when she smiles the whole world looks so colourful to you, when she cries you cannot the bear the pain, when she feels frightened you want to be her hero, to fight away all that is causing her fear. I never knew these before i met her. But in our four years of life together in college, i experienced this. We were inseperable. I loved her.

It was the day of our farewell, at the end of the four years of friendship, she was leaving tonight to her native. I sat there with her in railway station for her train to arrive. "Visakh, call me everyday. I dont know how i will survive without talking to you." Her train was arriving at the station. I felt the pain in my heart. I cannot let her go. I cannot live without seeing this pretty face. I cannot live without seeing this beautiful smile. I knew that moment that I love her. Yet i didnt do anything. I smiled at her. With tears in her eyes she waved at me from the train. If only i had the courage to tell her then that i loved her so much.

........................

"Visakh.. I did it... i got my VISA. I can now leave to US next week. All my hard work is finally paying off. I am going to achieve my dream." Wish i could share her excitement. She was going for a two year assignment She was rated as one of the top performers in her company. I was very happy with her success. But this news, even when i wanted to be happy for her, my heart couldnt bear this separation. "Hey, that is a great news. All the Best Meenu". "You will come to see me off right. I am leaving from Chennai on next sunday. I want to see you before going." "I will try Meenu". I knew this was a lie, i couldnt bear another good bye.

I could still mail her everyday, call her once in a while. I tried to comfort my heart. But i knew i wouldn't. She has a future of which i am no part of. I shouldn't be in way of her bright future. I shouldn't be the one who will cut the wings of her dream. I love you too much Meenu. I am gonna walk away from your life, forever.

I stood up from my chair and walked to the classroom. Next class was "Electronics Basics" to the first years. Students looking bored and smiling at each other. Making the start of their friendships. I smiled to myself.

........................

I opened the invitation letter. "Meenakshi weds Aravind". It had a note enclosed within that. "Visakh, Its been almost 2 years since we talked. Hope you are doing good. Still teaching at our college? Why you never replied to my mails. Did i do something wrong to hurt you? Please come for my marriage. You are my best friend. I want you to be there with me on this day." I sat there with the letter in my hand for 2 hours without moving. Tears rolled from my eyes. I love you Meenu. I love you so much.

I have to tell her. I have to let her know how i feel about her. 9447231300.. I dialled it for the 12th time. "Hello... Meenu here". I heard her voice with a slight American accent. "Hey Meenu..". There was a long silence at the other end. "Meenu, why are u silent. Its me Visakh." "Dont talk to me, I am cross with you. You call yourself my best friend. You dont reply to my mails. You dont even care whether i am alive or not. You dont even call me once even after getting my marriage invite. I am not talking to you." She was the Meenu i liked, my best friend, my love.

"Meenu, i am so sorry" I could hear her sobbing in the background. "Visakh sorry, i was so much frustrated. I really wanted to take my anger out on somebody. Thats when you called. You know me right." Yes i knew her. "Meenu, how are you?" "I am not good Visakh. I am so confused. How can i get married to someone whom i have only known for a month. Can i adjust with him. Will he be able to understand me. I wanted to marry someone who understands me, who loves me for who i am, who knew me like you do Visakh. Am i making the wrong decision?"

What i should say to her? Can i tell her that yes she is correct. She need to be with somebody who loves her. Who understands her like no one else - Me. But i couldnt. "Meenu dont be a fool. These are the feelings that goes through everyone's mind before making such a huge commitment. Everything will be alright. Dont think of such things now. You should get rest and be ready for tomorrow's function. Tomorrow is going to be the happiest day of your life. Get rest and everything will be alright tomorrow." We talked for over an hour. By the end, she was calm, relaxed and happy. "I am so happy you called Visakh. I dont know what i would have done without you, my best friend. You will be there tomorrow at my wedding right?" Best friend.. Yes i am her best friend... will remain her best friend all through my life...and as her best friend i needed to hide my feeling one more time... one more day.... I told her before keeping the phone down."Yes Meenu.. I will b there... in the front row... "

A weekend to remember

This was a special weekend for sure.

Our normal weekend begins usually with a Friday night movie. My lovely wife, Vini will find a movie best suited for our taste.. usually a boring malayalam movie... oh yeh, we are here for malayalam movies. If we dont watch and promote Malayalam movie in US.. who would :-). In that process we have watched "Thaskaraveeran", "Ben Johnson", "Udayon" and many such movies. Yes now you know how much dedicated we are.

This week's special was "ThuruppuGulan". We called up The Mummy , Kuri & Tedka and drove to our own malayalam movie theatre in irving - Funasia. It was not much "fun" though. The movie reels didnt reach on time :-) Just a 2 hour delay. Waited for the flight to come with the much awaited mamootty movie. I should say that we kept our image intact. This one too was a "thakarcha" (terrible) movie. What all sacrifices we make for malayalam movie industry :-).

After reaching home at 2, we did something good in the end. Watched a 45mins video of russel peter's stand up comedy "Somebody is gonna get hurt real bad". It was a roller coaster ride. I am his fan now. If you havent watched it.. give it a try --> Russel Peters

So far nothing special right... Yeh i know.. this was our regular weekend activity watching a boring movie on friday, sleep through out saturday sunday morning... have some friends over during weekend.. cook dinner for them or hang out together... But this weekend was different.

We went for a Graduation ceremony.!!! Vini's class mate during her college days - Maya was completing her masters from University of Texas and we were invited for the graduation ceremony. Whats the big deal... we people from india will ask. We have seen people complete bachleors, masters, PhDs... nobody cares... Not here.. not in US...

Everybody who care about you, who wants celebrate in your achivement is there for you. Dressed in the graduation clothes, marching with pride through the campus, getting recognised in front of the whole college, in front of your friends and family - it is a feeling that cannot be expressed in words.

So Kuri and vini planned to surprise Maya on the graduation day. And that was her b-day as well. Wow... cant miss this oppurtunity. Why not make this a reunion for Vini's class mates. We had tried for this a couple of weeks back but didnt work out. So decision was made, Maya's graduation & bday will be celebrated along with vini's class reunion. Called up deepthi from Houston and she too agreed. So plan was made to go to Arlington and surprise her..!!!

Even though things didnt go exactly as planned.. Kuri couldnt come for graduation due to eye infection and Deepthi had some unavoidable reasons. So reunion was shifted to Sunday at our house. But we didnt miss the oppurtunity to go and surprise Maya...

Me and vini drove to arlington with bday cake and surprised Maya. Met her sisters, mum & dad. All of us went for the graduation function. It was an experience :-) Even though we passed BTech after struggling 4 years :-) no body knew. Well it surely gave a feeling to enter some college here and go through these emotions. Anyway these feelings were temporary only. :-) I am not sure if i can take the pain of studying again..!! :-)

Reunion Day - Kuri reached home by morning. Vini was busy in kitchen with her cooking. She wanted to impress her class mates with her cooking. Maya came around 1 pm and we were waiting for Deepthi and her hus Rajesh. On their drive to Dallas they were caught in a thunderstorm :-) Texas climate..!! phew..!! Blazing hot in Dallas and 100 miles south it was raining cats and dogs. Dont you just love it.

After Deepthi & Rajesh came, we had a big lunch - my favourite part in the whole process. We had entertainment plans after the lunch. "Ormakal" - Vini's class video. They had recorded it on their final year treat in college days. This was a fun ride. To see the Kuriaparampil, Deepthi, Maya & Vini 5 years ago. The star of the show was obviously Kuri who was tormented by his best buddies in the video. What ever i forget about their class CD, as an outsider, i will never forget two things - Kuri's "Raagenthu Kiranankal" song & Maya's famous dialogue - "Poooda Potta".

To say that we had a blast is just an understatement. Anyway we declared "LBS CSE 2k1 TEXAS reunion" as big success. And this weekend even after begining with a "Thuruppu Gulan" was something special to remember...